Frey: Shhh!
[The NEWBIES decrease the amount of noise they are making with the photon casings for a few seconds. Then there is a burst of noise from them including mooing.]
S'Tasik: (to Frey) They're nervous, sire.
Frey: Then we'd best leave them here and carry on at one-quarter impulse speed.
[Overon takes a strange look at them. They walk on leaving the NEWBIES behind. After a few more moments Overon halts them with a sign.]
Overon: Behold the Cave of Taldrenbannog!

Frey: Right! Keep me covered.
[Stir among XenoCorpians]
Hawkeye: What with?
Frey: Just keep me covered.
Overon: Too late.
Frey: What?
Overon: There he is!
[They all turn, and see a large overworked David Ferrell lolloping a few yards out of the cave. Accompanied by terrifying chord and jarring metallic monster noise.]
Frey: Where?
Overon: There.
Frey: Behind David Ferrell?
Overon: It is David Ferrell.
Frey: ...You silly sod.
Overon: What?
Frey: You got us all worked up.
Hawkeye: You cretin!
Frey: That is not an ordinary David Ferrell... 'tis the most foul cruel and bad-tempered thing you ever set eyes on when he's overworked!
K'tujHegh: You tit. I soiled my armour I was so scared!
Overon: Look, David Ferrell's got a vicious streak. He's a killer!
Blade: Oh, fuck off. Get stuffed.
Overon: He'll do you up a treat mate!
Blade: Oh yeah?
K'tujHegh: You turd! Mangy scots git!
Overon: Look. I'm warning you.
K'tujHegh: What's he do? Nibble your bum?
Overon: Well, He's got huge... very sharp... he can jump a... look at the bones!!
Frey: Go on, Hunin Raven, chop its head off.
Hunin Raven: Right. Silly little bleeder. One David Ferrell stew coming up.
Overon: Look!

[As Overon points they all spin round to see DAVID FERRELL leap at HUNIN RAVEN's throat with an appalling scream. From a distance of about twenty feet there is a tin opening noise, a cry from HUNIN RAVEN. A quick CLOSE-UP of a savage DAVID FERRELL tearing through armour and hull points and HUNIN RAVEN's head flies off. Then DAVID FERRELL leaps back to the mouth of the cave and sits there looking in the XenoCorp Crew's direction and growling menacingly.]
Frey: Je...sus Christ!
Overon: I warned you!
K'tujHegh: I done it again.
Overon: Did I tell you? Did you listen to me? Oh no, no, you knew better didn't you? No, he's just an ordinary Taldren Employee isn't he. The names you called me. Well, don't say I didn't tell you.
Frey: Oh, shut up.
Overon: (quietly) It's always the same ... if I've said it once.
Frey: Charge!

[They all charge with weapons overloaded towards DAVID FERRELL. A tremendous twenty second fight with Peckinpahish shots and borrowing heavily also on the Kung Fu and karate-type films ensues, in which some three XenoCorpians are comprehensively killed.]
Frey: Run away! Run away!
XenoCorp Crew: (taking up cry) Run away! Run away!
[They run down from the cave and hide, regrouping behind some rocks. Overon, some way away, is pointing at them and laughing derisively.]
Overon: Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha.

Frey: Who did we lose?
GC: RogueJedi.
Blade: Dieter.
Frey: And Hunin Raven. Five.
Blade: Three, Admiral!
Frey: Three. Well, we'll not risk another frontal assault. That David Ferrell's dynamite!
K'tujHegh: Would it help to confuse him if we ran away more.
Frey: Shut up. Go and change your armour.
[K'tujHegh leaves, walking strangely.]
Blade: Let us taunt it. It may become so cross that it will make a mistake.
Frey: Like what?
[Blade cannot find a suitable answer to this]
S'Tasik: Do we have any hellbores?
Frey: No.
GC: We have the Holy Photon.
K'tujHegh: The what?
Frey: The Holy Photon of Antioch. 'Tis one of the sacred relics Brother Malystryx always carries with him.
XenoCorp Crew: Yes. Of course.
Frey (shouting): Bring up the Holy Photon!
XC Elites: [chanting]
Pie Iesu domine, dona eis requiem.

Pie Iesu domine, dona eis requiem. Pie Iesu domine, dona eis requiem. Pie Iesu domine, dona eis requiem.
Frey: How does it, um-- how does it work?
Hawkeye: I know not, Admiral.
Frey: Consult the Taldren Book of Armaments!
Malystryx: Let us turn to the Holy Book of Taldren Weapons and Armaments, Chapter 3: Federation, verses nine to twenty-one.

It came to pass that the Bethke did cast his gaze upon the photon of Antioch and declared it lacking. And Bethke raised the photon up on high, saying, 'O Taldren, bless this Thy Holy Photon that, with it, Thou mayest blow Thine plasma and disruptor enemies to tiny bits in Thy mercy.'
And the Taldrenites did grin, and the people did feast upon the lambs and sloths and carp and anchovies and orangutans and breakfast cereals and fruit bats and and the romulans and the klingons and large chu--
Hstaphath: Skip a bit, Brother Malystryx.
Malystryx: And the Bethke spake, saying, 'First shalt thou ignore one ECM shift. Then, shalt thou ECCM bonus be effectively three. No more. No less. Three shalt be the number of thou ECCM, and the number of the ECCM shall be three. Four shalt shalt not the ECCM be, nor either two, excepting that thou ECCM then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the ECCM is three, being the third number, be reached, then, lobbest thou thy Holy Photon of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in My sight, shall snuff it.'
Hstaphath: Amen.
XenoCorp Crew: Amen.
Frey: Right!

One!... Two!... Five!
Intrepid: Three, sir!
Frey: Three!
[angels sing]
[boom]