Scene 23: The Bird of Bethke

[gurgle]
Frey: There it is! The Bird of Bethke!
GC: Oh, great.
Frey: Look!! There's that old man!
762: What is he doing here?
Frey: He is the keeper of the Bird of Bethke. He asks each traveler five questions--
Da Bomb: Three questions
Frey: Three questions. He who answers the five questions--
Da Bomb: Three Questions
Frey: Three questions may fly past the Bird in safety.
Kieran Forester: What if you get a question wrong?
Frey: Then you are cast into the Gorn Mating pit of Eternal Peril.
Hobbesmaster: Oh, I won't go.
K'tujHegh: Who's going to answer the questions?
Frey: Captain Sniper!
Sniper: Yes?
Frey: Brave Captain Sniper, you go.
Sniper: Hey! I've got a great idea. Why doesn't K'tujHegh go?
K'tujHegh: Yes, let me go, Admiral. I will take him single-handed. I shall make a feint to the north-east--
Frey: No, no, hang on hang on hang on! Just answer the five questions--
Hawkeye: Three questions
Frey: Three questions as best you can. And we shall watch... and pray.
K'tujHegh: I understand, sir.
Frey: Good luck, brave Commodore K'tujHegh. Bethke be with you.
Keeper: Stop!

Who would cross the Bird of Bethke must answer me these questions three, 'ere the other side he see.
K'tujHegh: Ask me the questions, Bird-keeper. I'm not afraid.
Keeper: What is your name?

K'tujHegh: My name is Commodore K'tujHegh of XenoCorp.
Keeper: What is your quest?
K'tujHegh: To seek the Holy Grail of Balance.
Keeper: What is your favorite tactic?
K'tujHegh: The K'tujHegh Can Opener.
Keeper: Right. Off you go.
K'tujHegh: Oh, thank you. Thank you very much.
Sniper: That's easy!
Keeper: Stop! Who approaches the Bird of Bethke must answer me these questions three, 'ere the other side he see.
Sniper: Ask me the questions, Bird-keeper. I'm not afraid.
Keeper: What is your name?
Sniper: Captain Sniper of XenoCorp.
Keeper: What is your quest?
Sniper: To seek the Holy Grail of Balance.
Keeper: What is the Home planet of the Gorn?
Sniper: I don't know that! Auuuuuuuugh!
Keeper: Stop! What is your name?
Harry P. Nez: Commodore Harry of XenoCorp.
Keeper: What is your quest?
Harry P. Nez: I seek the Grail.
Keeper: What is your favorite tactic?
Harry P. Nez: Gorn Anchor. No Plasma-Bal-- Auuuuuuuugh!
Keeper: Heh heh. Stop! What is your name?
Frey: It is Admiral Frey, Founder of XenoCorp.
Keeper: What is your quest?
Frey: To seek the Holy Grail of Balance.
Keeper: What is the air-speed velocity of a fully loaded Mirak?
Frey: What do you mean? With Fast Drones or Slow?
Keeper: What? I don't know that! Auuuuuuuugh!
KehaKhoul: How do know so much about Mirak?
Frey: Well, you have to know these things when you're a member of XenoCorp, you know.
[suspenseful music]
[music suddenly stops]
[intermission]
[suspenseful music resumes]


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