Crimson Røhirrim Equestrians
Narrator: In the bleak days of the Third Age, as Røhän languished in the doldrums of a mad King ensnared by dark magic, the good and loyal men of the Røhirrim Equestrian Society-- a once-proud horde of merciless warriors, recently routed at the Fords of Isen-- strained under the yoke of their oppressive new dressage instructor.
Grima: Left column by file quarter-pirouette right onto center line-- WAIT FOR IT!!!
Narrator: Pushed beyond the bounds of decent and reasonable victimization, the Eøred of the East-mårk take their destiny in their own hands and... mutiny!
Eomer: I'm WHAT?!
Narrator: And so the Crimson Røhirrim Equestrians set out upon the vast tracks of grasslands called the Riddërmårk of Røhän. Adopting, adapting, and improving traditional cavalry tactics, the Crimson Røhirrim Equestrians put into motion an audacious campaign to wreak a terrible vengeance against orcs, mimes, royal advisors, and door-to-door salesmen.
Eomer: Full gallup ahead, Eothain!
It can be manly riding bareback,
Eothain: (singing) Gallup away!
Narrator: And so, heartened by their initial success, the desperate and reasonably violent men of the Røhirrim Equestrian Society battled on. Hoping against hope for the redemption of their King, the salvation of their country, and to maybe someday wear fashionable cowboy hats with chaps...
XenoCorp (XC) Pictures
J.R.R. Tolkien's: The Two Towers
J.R.R. Tølkiën's: Den Tvø Tøvërsen
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