Scene 16: Hurry, K'tujHegh. Hurry!

[K'tujHegh charges the castle]
K'tujHegh: Ha-ha! etc.
[Carnage and mayhem] missiles and drones and mass death all around

Newbie #1: Now, you're not allowed to come in here, and we're-ugh!
K'tujHegh: O fair one, behold your humble servant Commodore K'tujHegh of XenoCorp. I have come to take -- oh, I'm terribly sorry.
Frodo: You got my note!
K'tujHegh: Uh, well, I got A note.
Frodo: You've come to rescue me!
K'tujHegh: Uh, well, no, you see--
Frodo: I knew that someone would, I knew that somewhere out there... there must be... [music] ...someone...
Jinxx: Stop that, stop that, stop it! Stop it! Who are you?
Frodo: I'm your son!
Jinxx: No, not you.
K'tujHegh: I'm Commodore K'tujHegh, sir.
Frodo: He's come to rescue me, Jinxx.
K'tujHegh: Well, let's not jump to conclusions.
Jinxx: Did you kill all the Newbies?
K'tujHegh: Uh..., oh, yes. Sorry.
Jinxx: They cost fifty pounds each.
K'tujHegh: Well, I'm awfully sorry, I'm -- I really can explain everything.
Frodo: Don't be afraid of him, K'tujHegh, I've got a rope all ready!

Jinxx: You killed eight Newbies in all!
K'tujHegh: Well, you see, the thing is, I thought your son was a Magic Photon user.
Jinxx: I can understand that.
Frodo: Hurry, K'tujHegh! Hurry!
Jinxx: Shut up! You only killed the Lyran ambassador, that's all!
K'tujHegh: Well, I really didn't mean to...
Jinxx: Didn't mean to?! You put your MIRV missiles right through his head!
K'tujHegh: Oh, dear. Is he all right?
Jinxx: You even kicked that Cadet in the chest! This is going to cost me a fortune!
K'tujHegh: Well, I can explain. I was in the forest, um, riding north from XenoCorp Headquarters, when I got this note, you see--
Jinxx: XenoCorp? Are you from, uh, XenoCorp?
Frodo: Hurry, K'tujHegh!
K'tujHegh: Uh, I am a Knight of Admiral Frey, sir.
Jinxx: Pretty nice castle, XenoCorp. Uh, pretty good pig country....
K'tujHegh: Is it?
Frodo: Hurry, I'm ready!
Jinxx: Would you, uh, like to come and have a Romulan Ale?
K'tujHegh: Well, that's, uh, awfully nice of you.
Frodo: I am ready!
[start to leave]
K'tujHegh: --I mean to be, so understanding. [Jinxx unties rope] [thonk]
Frodo: Oooh! [splat]
K'tujHegh: Um, I think when I'm in this idiom, I sometimes get a bit, uh, sort of carried away.
Jinxx: Oh, don't worry about that.
Frodo: Oooh! [splat]


Back XC & The Holy Grail of Balance Next

Please contact Hstaphath with any comments, suggestions, questions or bribe money you may have

Back to the XC Bard's Corner