Narrative Interlude: Calling Sauron

Narrator: Barad-dur. The formidable horror-filled fortress of the Sauron. Atop this monstrous black tower, the flaming eye of the Dark Lord looks out upon the west. Suddenly, he hears a call on his Palantir. Saruman is overdue to report and Sauron is anxious for news of Rohan's destruction.

Sauron: Saruman, It's about ruddy damn time you called!
Muffled Voice: Uh, hello? I'm trying to contact Amanda. Hello?
Sauron: Wha-- Amanda?!
Muffled Voice: Yes, Ms. Huggenkiss. Is Amanda Huggenkiss there?
Sauron: (puzzled) Hold on, I'll check.
(Sauron's voice blares out throughout the land of Mordor)
Sauron: Hey, I'm looking for Amanda Huggenkiss!
Orcs: Oh, haw haw haw haw! Haw! Haw haw heh...
Sauron: Come on now, anyone? Ah, why can't I find Amanda Huggenkiss?
Muffled Voice: Hehe... maybe your standards are too high!
Sauron: Why you little son of a-- when I find out who you are, I'm going to shove a sausage down your throat and stick a starving warg up your--
Merry: Heh... oh, that was brilliant, Pippin!
Pippin: Ha ha-- Shhh, shhh! Don't wake Gandalf!

Merry: Hehe... shhhh!

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